we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
