Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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