just come out here and I will go home with you...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
