Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
