he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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