Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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