This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
