In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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