I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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