you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
its not stalking. its research.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
