I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
