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Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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