Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
