now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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