I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
