i would punch a child for taco bell
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
