im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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