That's intense
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
