In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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