My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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