I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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