they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
