When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
