Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
His nipple licking is glorious
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