No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
