Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
