I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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