Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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