i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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