Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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