On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
