Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
