I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
