I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
