We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
