just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
