I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
