she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
