ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Someone shit on the floor
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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