He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
