"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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