Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
