I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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