Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
