So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
