Can i not drive my cunt home
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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