i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
