we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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