im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You were trust falling into bushes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
