then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
