My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
