I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
