How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
