He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
