The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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