Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
