it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
