it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
