who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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