im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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